The Manifesto of the Hobo Laureates, signed, verified, recorded and compared by the right honorable Notary Calvin Gatorade of Warpe, Wistfull, Kubitschek and McMingus, in Luna Park, Coney Island, New York, 2011.

  1. We intend to sing the love of literature and travel, the habit of energy and homelessness.
  2. Courage, audacity, curiosity and revolt will be essential elements of our poetry of the road.
  3. Up to now travel agents have exalted a pensive immobility, ecstasy, and sleep. We intend to exalt aggresive action, a feverish insomnia, the racer’s stride, the mortal leap, the punch and the slap.
  4. We affirm that the real and literary worlds’ magnificence face a new threat: retrograde digitalism. Mobile phones and wired screens whose shiny surfaces invite big and empty swipes, like soul-sucking serpents of explosive breath— to some these roaring artifices that seem to ride on gigabyte grapeshot are more beautiful and chimerical than the Victory of Samothrace. We disagree: There is no substitute for the great outdoors, and the printed page of literature, which is the fountainhead of all truth and beauty.
  5. We want to hymn the hobo at the wheel of his own fortune, who hurls the lance of his spirit across the Earth, along the circle of his own orbit, and in doing so may finds existential legitimacy inside a fundamental absurdity.
  6. The Hobo must spend himself with ardor, splendor, and generosity, to swell the enthusiastic fervor of the exterior elements, and make new friends in the process.
  7. Except in struggle and experience, there is no more beauty. No work without an aggressive and crazy character can be a masterpiece. Travel and Poetry must be conceived as a violent attack on unkind and unnatural forces, to reduce and prostrate them before Mobile Man as he ventures into the Unknown.
  8. We stand on the last promontory of the centuries! Why should we look back, when what we want is to look ahead down the road not taken and break down the mysterious doors of the Impossible? Time and Space died yesterday. We already live in the Sisyphean absolute, because we have gone through the looking glass and/or rabbit hole and seen an eternal, arcane, omnipresent imagination, brimming with meaningful experience. We are not the readers of history, we will be the makers of myth.
  9. We will glorify the expeditionary war against the dying of the light —the wayfaring mind’s only hygiene— activism, artistry, plot and passage, the destructive gesture of storytellers, globetrotters and freedom-bringers, beautiful ideas worth dying for, and unrelenting scorn for the milk-and-water, stay-at-home philistines who diminish the limitless world with dull, myopic minds.
  10. We will support libraries and book shops of every material kind, celebrate the transformative power of story, fight stupidity and stasis, every opportunistic or utilitarian cowardice directed against the unalianable spirit of adventure and exploration.
  11. We will sing of great crowds excited by new sights, by new people and new pleasure, and join the rumpus and riot; we will sing of the multicolored, polyphonic tides of revolution in the great outdoors; we will sing of the vibrant nightly fervor of forests and seasides blazing with campfires and electric moons; airports and truck stops and railway stations that devour smoke-plumed fire chariots and teem with expectation; fictional fun factories in the clouds, untouched by progress’ crooked touch; self-made bridges that stride the rivers and canyons like giant gymnasts, flashing in the sun with elbow grease and spit; the musical performance of travel, its rapturous memories, and all of its modes – bikes and vans and cars on the winding road, adventurous steamers that sniff the horizon; deep-chested locomotives whose wheels paw the tracks like the hooves of enormous steel horses bridled by tubing, on their way to another incredible, indelible vista, another set of circumstances, another feat of discovery and derring-do; and the sleek flight of planes whose propellers chatter in the wind like banners and seem to cheer like an enthusiastic crowd.
  12. We urge everyone to write, read, create, care, love, listen, learn and travel – and, in hot pursuit of the horizon, say or whisper or sing: “If this isn’t nice, I don’t know what is”. And if you follow your true or fictional self and bigger-than-a-mountain-view imagination? Oh, the Places you’ll Go!!!!!
  13. and so on.

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